5 Ways to Leave an Energy-Draining Environment at Work or School
The amount of energy you bring to your work is a big deal. It plays a major role in what you are able to achieve and how you might ultimately feel about your work. Likewise, your environment can have a significant impact on your personal energy. This article looks at the relationship between your environment and your energy, and what to do when you find yourself feeling drained or stuck.
This article does not address explicitly toxic environments at length. Unfortunately, the world is full of these - spaces characterized by demeaning colleagues or teachers; overwhelming negativity, anxiety, or anger; or a consistent message of hate toward a certain people-group.
If you're in a toxic environment, it’s important to do something as soon as you can. In some cases, the right thing to do may be to take a stand and try to change something. But you won’t always have the personal energy for the fight that’s involved, and there’s no shame in that. Get yourself to a safer space, then think about what you can do to help others.
There are plenty of cases, however, of environments that are not explicitly toxic, but can still drain your energy. This article proposes a possible reason for this, and provides you with some courses of action (five of them!) for you to consider.
When I was a kid growing up in the 90s, there was a show on Nickelodeon called Clarissa Explains It All. Clarissa was a teenage girl who addressed her TV audience directly, and as the show title suggests, explains the ups and downs of teenage life with humor, irreverence, and occasional profundity.
In one episode that stands out in my memory, Clarissa was trying to master a piece of music on the flute. The piece was Bach’s Minuet in G. For most of the episode she struggled to play the correct notes. But for a few magical hours (or days… I don’t quite remember), she nailed it - time, after time, after time.
The whole episode was about being “in the zone”.
The concept of being in the zone has been studied at great length by Hungarian-American psychologist and happiness researcher, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
He calls it Flow.
(Csikszentmihalyi gave a TED Talk on Flow. You can watch it HERE.)
Csikszentmihalyi became interested in psychology after hearing a lecture given by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. Csikszentmihalyi chose the word ‘flow’ to describe the optimal experience of being in the zone, because so many of the people he studied - musicians, rock climbers, meditators, etc. - used the word (or similar concepts) to describe their experiences.
But Jungian psychology also offers up a good reason to call this experience Flow.
One defining characteristic of Jungian thought is the use of archetypes to depict the structure of the human psyche. Archetypes are patterns of energetic expression. Your archetypal patterns are innate to who you are - they emerge from within your being (this is how they differ from stereotypes, which are external projections).
We can’t “see” an archetype, but we can recognize it in its various forms of expression. The King, for example, is a very common archetype in our stories; we see him in King Arthur, Moana’s father, and the Godfather.
(I’ve written a companion article to this one - all about the expression of different archetypes in the performing arts - called “10 Personality Types of Musician, Theatre Artists, and Dancers: Which Are You?”. You can read it HERE.)
The energy we are talking about in this article is a holistic spiritual energy that comes from a universal Divine Source. You can think of your archetypes like the different appliances you plug into that power source. Like an electrical circuit, as long as you are connected to a power source and optimally wired, you will experience a flow of energy.
How does your environment affect your flow of energy?
Your environment can have huge effects on how your archetypal appliances function and therefore the way in which you experience energy on a daily basis. And environmental factors are quite various, ranging from the physical location in which an appliance is being used to the task being asked of it.
According to Csikszentmihalyi, we experience Flow when the challenge of a task (the environment) strikes a balance with our capacity to complete the task (our archetypal potential).
But what happens when these things are out of balance? We experience apathy, boredom, or anxiety.
Perhaps your boss or colleagues don’t recognize the unique value you offer your organization or company. Or perhaps you are being asked to do work that doesn’t suit your skills. These are the equivalents of trying to count your daily steps but neglecting to put on your FitBit, or trying to make an omelette with a toaster.
When your archetypal energies and your environment are this out of synch, one of two things will typically happen:
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You unplug from your power source and shut down; or
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In an effort to work the way you were meant to, you attempt to draw more power than your circuits are ready for... and you blow a fuse.
Neither scenario is good.
When you are in an environment that is clearly draining your energy, there’s only one thing you can do:
Leave.
You have to close up shop and make your way for a space that is more affirming of who you were born to be and the work you were born to do.
But leaving doesn’t have to mean quitting your job or dropping out of school (although it could). Leaving an energy-draining environment can be achieved along a spectrum of severity and with varying degrees of nuance.
How to leave
Here are five ways to leave an energy-draining environment, starting with what is least disruptive to your life’s status quo and ending with the most disruptive:
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Find another way of expressing your personal energy
If you’re finding yourself drained in little ways - or if your ‘trouble-environment’ is temporary but otherwise important (e.g. a lousy class you need to take to get a degree you really want) - a small change in your routine could be enough to re-energize.
This will likely involve an assessment of your priorities. Are you giving too much time to what is draining you (including worrying about it while you are not directly engaged in it)? Is there a life-giving hobby that you’ve let fall to the wayside that you could make some time for?
Try rearranging how you spend your time in alignment with your priorities, and include a creative outlet that gives expression to the core of who you are. Just doing this might give you enough energy to do what you need to do for the difficult stuff - and give less time to it.
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Ask for an alternative assignment
If a boss or a teacher has asked you to do something that is really out of alignment with how you do your best work, you may want to consider asking for an alternative assignment.
This may seem really disruptive, because our school and work systems are built on standardization and inherently fail to honor individual differences. But if you have the right approach, asking for an alternative assignment can actually be highly beneficial for all involved and not disruptive at all.
First, you’ll need to be certain that you know, deep in your heart, that you are asking for an alternative assignment because you want to do your best work and not because you are trying to get out of something (this is actually important for all the steps that follow, too!). This may be harder than it sounds, because we’ve all received messages since we were very young from people we care about - teachers, parents, bosses, etc. - that being a “good” student or employee means doing exactly what’s asked of you, and desiring to do otherwise may bring on feelings of shame.
You know you want to do good work. Stand firm in that self-knowledge and allow it to break through any negative messaging.
Second, you should come up with your own alternative to propose to your teacher or boss. Think about what they are trying to achieve with the original assignment and use that to guide you. If it’s a school assignment, you may want to consider going above and beyond to show your knowledge and ability in a creative way. Conversely, if at work, you may want to propose a way to get the job done even more efficiently.
Choosing to ask for an alternative assignment may feel like swimming upstream at first, but there is a growing trend to honor individual work styles. A caring teacher or a thoughtful boss will will see your honest intentions and realize that you are trying to work with them. It’s win-win!
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Learn to say “No”
Many people report taking on more than they really should. This isn’t an alignment issue (like asking for an alternative assignment) so much as a boundary issue.
If you don’t respect your own boundaries, others won’t either. When you have the option to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to something, ask yourself some of the following questions: Does this project excite me? Do I have time to do work that I’ll be proud of? Is there something else I can let go of in order to make more time?
Saying “No” can also take the form of civil disobedience - graciously letting others know that you have a boundary that you refuse to cross. Those who are worth working with will respect that and may even help you hold that boundaries if others try to cross it.
Saying “No” may be difficult at first. But when you are in touch with your priorities and honoring your own boundaries, it will get easier and even begin to feel good knowing that you are saying “No” to protect the energy you have for the things most important to you.
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Take a journey
Archetypes can be seen in characters, but they also show up in places and experiences. The Hero’s Journey, for example, is an archetypal experience characterized by the hero’s departure from the tribe, her struggles in the wilderness, her attainment of valuable knowledge and/or treasure, and her return to bring new value to her community. We see this pattern of separation, trial, attainment, and reunion in all our great stories: Luke Skywalker on Dagobah, Moana at sea, Simba in the jungle, Jason Bourne’s amnesia… the list goes on.
In our present day lives, the Hero’s Journey can happen while we are at a boarding “preparatory” school, traveling on a gap year, exploring the new world we find during our freshman year at college, or studying abroad.
My personal example: when I was 25, I felt stuck in many ways. I consequently felt the urge to drive cross-country. That summer, I spent two month on the road and living in Seattle. I returned to my teaching job with a whole new perspective and sense of inspiration that fueled the best years of my public school tenure.
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Quit
Some people are quick to quit something the moment it feels like it isn’t working. This may be self-honoring, but it may also be ignoring a real need to overcome struggles and build a sense of belonging in a place.
On the other hand, others will stay somewhere long after an arrangement has ceased to be healthy. This usually happens when a combination of loyalty, fear, guilt, comfort, and/or pride compel us to maintain the status quo rather than upset it.
But when something isn’t working, the Universe will let you know it. And the message will get louder and louder until you choose to respond. Eventually, our health will take a toll.
Quitting is a big deal, but it is important to recognize the signs that it’s time to quit before your health really suffers from it.
Any one of these “acts of leaving” requires intentional effort and may be accompanied with fear. That’s OK. Remember that the definition of courage is ‘the ability to do something that frightens you’. Living your true calling nearly always requires courage. “Leaving” via any of these means is great practice for living your most fulfilling life.