Whose game are you playing?
Welcome to the ArtsBound Newsletter. Every Tuesday, I share three thoughts or insights meant to help performing arts students and young professionals flourish in their life and career. Today, we’re looking at 1) life as a web of invented games, 2) a fresh look at the “Serenity Prayer”, and 3) the energy that might be sitting under a pile of other people’s rules.
- 5.5-minute read -
(NOTE: I started ArtsBound because I believe the world would be a better place with more people living their true calling. If you know a student or young professional who is searching for their niche in the performing arts world, consider forwarding this email to them. If this email was forwarded to you, you can sign up to receive my newsletter every Tuesday. It's free, and I’ll never share or sell your data.)
1. WhosE game are you playing?
As an artist, following your calling almost always involves a degree of going against the grain. Our societal institutions (modeled, perhaps, on our biology) are designed to tend first to matters of survival. Let’s face it; if forced to choose between eating dinner and attending a play, most of us would pick dinner.
However, given that we have access to enough food and water, the way we define survival is actually flexible. 18 months ago, many corporate leaders might have assumed that, in order to ‘survive’, their company must have its workforce reporting to the office every day. For many, the pandemic has thrown out that paradigm like last week’s leftovers.
COVID-19 came at a time when society was already entrenched in a battle over the deconstruction of existing paradigms (i.e. religion, gender, racism, etc.). And while we are all eager for the return of some of our old ways of being, quarantine has also opened us up to the possibility of new ways of being.
Possibility is an important word for orchestral conductor, Benjamin Zander (who, by the way, has a great TEDTalk), and his wife Rosamund Stone Zander, who is an author, family therapist, and coach. In their book, The Art of Possibility, Ben and Roz (as they refer to themselves in the text) unpack a series of taglines meant to encourage a shift in paradigm for the reader - moving from the finite measurement of one’s life, to a perspective of limitless possibility.
The first tagline is “It’s All Invented”. All of the social systems in which we function - everything from the economics of paying our bills, to the dress code at work; from having our work graded at school, to the dynamics in our families - is a construct of the human ego. The ways we perceive each of these systems are also constructs.
This is the concept behind the ubiquitous phrase, “thinking outside the box”. The proverbial ‘Box’ is an invention, and we are always capable of inventing a new, bigger box allowing for greater possibility.
In their book, Roz and Ben also show that, when you see that everything is invented, you might conceive of the various aspects of your life as games with made up rules. You choose, whether consciously or not, to play these games and follow the rules (or rebel against them), and you do so with varying degrees of success.
If we see life as a composite of games, a more playful attitude takes hold. When faced with an unfavorable situation, we can either invent a new game OR consciously play by the rules without taking it all so seriously.
2. Re-thinking serenity.
While I was considering the ways in which people respond to unfavorable situations, the familiar “Serenity Prayer” came to mind. For those who may not know it, here it is:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
I’ve always loved the poetic simplicity of this verse. It occured to me, however, that most every time I’ve heard this prayer invoked, it was for the sake of the first line - the ‘title line’, we might say.
We humans have a tendency to lament about, fret about, or try to control issues over which we have no influence. So it makes sense that invocation of the first line of the “Serenity Prayer” would be a key focus for us.
But there’s also a problem with focusing on only the first line. If we consider the prayer as a whole, we see that it is perfectly balanced; like the concept of yin and yang, having the serenity to accept the things we cannot change is only possible when we also know where it actually makes sense to focus our attention (wisdom) and then do something about it (courage).
In another chapter of The Art of Possibility, Ben and Roz touch on “The Way Things Are”. They write:
“The practice of this chapter is an antidote both to hopeless resignation… and to spluttering resistance of [the way things are]. It is to be present to the way things are, including our feelings about the way things are.”
They go on:
“Being present to the way things are is not the same as accepting things as they are in [a] resigned way… It doesn’t mean you should drown out your negative feelings or pretend you like something you can’t stand.” (p. 100)
When we are able to be present to what is in front of us - rather than futilely resist it, or try to bliss it away - we gain clarity about what we might actually be able to change in a given situation. And that type of presence is definitely commanding of a deep level of serenity.
So, I am not suggesting we need to rewrite the prayer, but perhaps next time you see or hear it, you might interpret the word “accept” as “be present to”; and know that serenity is only accessible to us in equal measure with our courage.
3. Unearthing your creative instincts.
Let’s come back to the topic of deconstruction. There are many reasons people engage in the process of deconstructing inherited paradigms. Among them is the desire to catch a glimpse of the fundamental nature of reality, or more personally, the core of who you are.
By the time we are young adults, many of us have moved in and out of enough societal structures to have been subjected to the rules of many, many games invented by other people. These expectations can get so piled on top of our core values that we can lose track of them altogether.
In contrast to the societal structures in which our bodies and egos exist, archetypal energy is not invented.
That said, we must invent ways in which to understand and interact with that energy. And so we invent labels (i.e. mother, child, king, warrior, artist, etc.), and we tell stories that reflect our experiences with these forms of energy and the wisdom we have accessed as a result.
The images of the archetype may be invented, but the archetype itself is pure instinctive energy.
Depth psychologist, Carl Jung, identified creativity among the most basic of human instincts. By deconstructing societal concepts - as well as the intricate web of associations that makes up your relationship to those concepts (Jung called them “complexes”) - you can loosen creative energy that might be hidden underneath your accumulated pile of “other people’s rules”.
The catch is, you can’t live in a world that has been totally deconstructed. When you see the game for what it is, and you choose to take it apart, you must go about the process of inventing a new game - one with rules that channel your creative energy rather than stifle it.
An objective party can truly be helpful in considering the ‘games’ in which you are engaged. If you think you might benefit from working with a guide, hit reply on this email to get in touch with me.
See you next week!
Lee
PS - I started ArtsBound because I believe the world would be a better place with more people living their true calling. If you know a student or young professional who is searching for their niche in the performing arts world, consider forwarding this email to them. If this email was forwarded to you, you can sign up to receive my newsletter every Tuesday. It's free, and I’ll never share or sell your data.